Embracing Androgyny: Style Tips for Gender-Inclusive Boudoir Photography

Most boudoir advice assumes you fit one of two boxes. Soft and curvy, or sharp and strong. Lace or leather. Her or him. If you are somewhere between, or somewhere else entirely, that advice does not fit and you can feel it.

So here is a different approach. Styling for androgynous and gender-inclusive boudoir starts with a question, not a template. What feels like you?

Start with clothes that fit your actual body

Skip anything that makes you feel like you are wearing a costume of someone else’s idea of sexy. Tailoring does more than lace ever will.

• A well cut suit jacket with nothing under it
• A silk button up, half open, sleeves rolled
• Boxer briefs, high waisted briefs, or a bodysuit in a fabric you love
• A harness worn over a plain shirt or over skin
• Trousers with a strong waistline and bare shoulders

Texture carries the mood. Wool, leather, satin, cotton, denim. Contrast between hard and soft fabrics looks good on everybody.

Let the pose follow the body, not the stereotype

A lot of standard poses come from an old idea of what a body is supposed to do. Hip pushed out, chin down, hand in hair. If that does not feel like you, we skip it. Stand square. Sit wide. Lean against the wall like you own it. The strongest photographs come from a stance you would take on your own.

Hair, makeup, and grooming

Do what feels right. Bare skin, a bold lip, a shadow of stubble, glitter on the eyelids, a slicked back cut. Nothing is off limits and nothing is required. If you want makeup that leans one way or the other, bring reference photos and we talk it through.

Names, pronouns, and how you want to be seen

The first conversation is where this gets settled. Tell me how you want to be addressed and what you want the photographs to say. If some parts of your body are not something you want emphasized, say that. That is a normal request and there is nothing to explain.

Every session at mIsFiTs Like Me starts with a real conversation about what you want and where your limits are. Then you lead, and I follow. The studio is in downtown Belleville, Illinois, with a private entrance and no waiting room.

Where to go next

There is a page for LGBTQ+ boudoir in St. Louis and one for men’s boudoir. If you are working out how bold to go, this breakdown helps. For details, see the pricing page.

FAQs

Is boudoir only for women?

No. Boudoir is about intimacy and how you see yourself, and it works for any gender or none.

What should I wear if I am not sure?

Start with what you already love wearing. Bring two or three options and we choose together.

Can I choose what not to emphasize?

Yes. Tell me at the start and the session gets planned around it.

Will you assume my pronouns?

No. We settle names and pronouns in the first conversation.